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A Man In Transition

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Helen Thomas, Lynne Stewart, a vat of anchovies and me ... indeed!
-Glenn Reynolds

Tragic Chain of Events in Boston

Iowahawk reports from the scene.

Posted by: Jheka at July 30, 2004 13:39 | link | comments |

Practice Stuffing The Ballot Box

I'm not saying that you should vote for The Daily Blitz in every single category, I'm just saying that if we don't see some positive results soon, one of the cats may have to be "let go."

P.S. If you don't want to register, use bugmenot.

Posted by: Jheka at July 30, 2004 12:01 | link | comments (7) |

Worst of the Web Results

Well, the votes have been counted, the pregnant chads have given birth and the results are in over at Tasty Manatees.  Be warned: the worst of the web is truly awful.  In fact, after viewing this blog, I'm going to need laser eye surgery ... again.

Posted by: Jheka at July 30, 2004 11:14 | link | comments |

Friday Poetry - Sadie and Maud

A reminder to all of you ... it's important to try to be the livingest folks in all the land:

Sadie and Maud

Maud went to college.
Sadie stayed home.
Sadie scraped life
With a fine toothed comb.

She didn't leave a tangle in
Her comb found every strand.
Sadie was one of the livingest chicks
In all the land.

Sadie bore two babies
Under her maiden name.
Maud and Ma and Papa
Nearly died of shame.

When Sadie said her last so-long
Her girls struck out from home.
(Sadie left as heritage
Her fine-toothed comb.)

Maud, who went to college,
Is a thin brown mouse.
She is living all alone
In this old house.

Gwendolyn Brooks

Posted by: Jheka at July 30, 2004 09:30 | link | comments (2) |
poetry

A Day Late But Still Funny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scrappleface, always reliably funny.

Posted by: Jheka at July 30, 2004 02:53 | link | comments |

Reporting for Duty?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cox & Forkum nail it again.  On Wednesday, Senator Edwards tried to stake out a foreign policy position to the right of the Republicans when he said:

And we will have one clear unmistakable message for al Qaida and the rest of these terrorists.  You cannot run.  You cannot hide.  And we will destroy you.

Well, Senator Kerry, who is supposed to lead the charge to destroy the terrorists, wants no part of it.  Here's what he said:

The United States of America never goes to war because we want to, we only go to war because we have to . . . As president, I will wage this war with the lessons I learned in war. Before you go to battle, you have to be able to look a parent in the eye and truthfully say: "I tried everything possible to avoid sending your son or daughter into harm's way. But we had no choice. We had to protect the American people, fundamental American values from a threat that was real and imminent." So lesson one, this is the only justification for going to war. And on my first day in office, I will send a message to every man and woman in our armed forces: You will never be asked to fight a war without a plan to win the peace. I know what we have to do in Iraq. We need a president who has the credibility to bring our allies to our side and share the burden, reduce the cost to American taxpayers, and reduce the risk to American soldiers. That's the right way to get the job done and bring our troops home. Here is the reality: That won't happen until we have a president who restores America's respect and leadership -- so we don't have to go it alone in the world. And we need to rebuild our alliances, so we can get the terrorists before they get us. I defended this country as a young man and I will defend it as president. Let there be no mistake: I will never hesitate to use force when it is required. Any attack will be met with a swift and certain response.

Take a look at what he's saying here.  He intends to fight this war with a philosophy grounded in his Vietnam experience.  You know, the war after which he came home and smeared the name of American soldiers by making up stories about atrocities that he and others allegedly committed (has he ever properly and publicly apologized for that absolutely evil action, btw?).  He will never enter a conflict without a plan to win the peace.  Question:  Did we have a plan to "win the peace" when we entered World War II?  How about the Civil War?  Sometimes you have to fight just to survive and because you must and worry about "winning the peace" after you've managed to achieve victory.  It's ass-backwards priorities like the ones Kerry is displaying that ensured that we would never have a chance to "win the peace" in Vietnam.  Notice also the emphasis on bringing the troops home rather than winning the peace, or anything else, in Iraq (God help the Iraqi people if John Flippin' Kerry gets elected President) and the complete lack of emphasis on proactive action against terrorists of any kind (um, you go ahead and destroy them, Mr. Edwards, I'll be right here).  Of course, if and when we are attacked (when, Mr. Kerry, when), the attack will be met with a "swift and certain response."  I'm sure that that will be a tremendous comfort to the dead American men and women and that the terrorists will run screaming in terror from Kerry's elite teams of process servers.

Posted by: Jheka at July 30, 2004 02:17 | link | comments (2) |

D.C. Transit Police Nab Candybar Terrorist

After spending three years in Washington D.C., this lunacy doesn't surprise me in the least:

WASHINGTON - A government scientist finishing a candy bar on her way into a subway station where eating is prohibited was arrested, handcuffed and detained for three hours by transit police.

Stephanie Willett said she was eating a PayDay bar on an escalator descending into a station July 16 when an officer warned her to finish it before entering the station. Both Willett and police agree that she nodded and put the last bit into her mouth before throwing the wrapper into a trash can . . .

Whoever that officer was deserves to be transferred to a part of D.C. where he or she can do some real police work (may I suggest Anacostia), his superior should be demoted for allowing this stupidity to continue for three hours and D.C. Transit Police Chief Polly Hanson should be publicly reprimanded and forced to issue a public apology to Ms. Willett. The police are there to protect and serve the people, not to harrass them.

Posted by: Jheka at July 29, 2004 14:36 | link | comments (1) |
general idiocy

Al Zarqawi Captured?

This is the terrorist waste of skin and organs who was behind numerous attacks and beheadings, including the murder of Nick Berg. The source is not necessarily the most reliable and details are sketchy, so stay tuned. If true, expect the Democrats to whine and seethe sabout the timing of the capture coinciding with Kerry's "Bush is a miserable failure and I'm a stalwart warrior" acceptance speech.

Update:  And this has them seething already.

Posted by: Jheka at July 29, 2004 12:55 | link | comments |

Recipe of the Day - Grand Marnier Crêpes

New feature, boys and girls. I will occasionally post some of my favorite recipes here. Try them and tell me what you think. Everything posted will be something that I have already prepared and tried, so at least you can be reasonably sure that it won't kill you. Today's selection is something that's great for a weekend breakfast:

Ingredients:

If anyone has the courage to try this, please let me know what you think.

Posted by: Jheka at July 29, 2004 11:37 | link | comments (2) |

They Call Him Flipper, Flipper, Faster Than Lightning ...

The RNC has produced a video explaining how John Flippin' Kerry was for removing Saddam, but not for actually removing Saddam but thought that he was a threat to global peace ... but not really, but supported our troops and would never think of not funding them, except that he didn't want to fund them ... and so on, and so on ...

Check it out and pass it on.

Posted by: Jheka at July 28, 2004 17:52 | link | comments |

Open Thread - Favorite Literary Characters

In honor of the latest addition to my blogroll, Monte Cristo, I'm opening up a thread.  Please list a few (or even just one) of your favorite literary characters and write a couple of words about why you like them.  I'll start:

Edmund Dantes (The Count of Monte Cristo), Wolf Larsen (The Sea Wolf), Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights) ... all three ignored social conventions and railed against the limitations of civilizations ... with differing results.  Three of my favorite characters from three of my favorite books. 

Posted by: Jheka at July 28, 2004 11:57 | link | comments (4) |

On Ann Coulter, USA Today and Censorship

Yesterday, one of the big stories on Drudge, the blogosphere and the talk radio circuit was the fact that USA Today had spiked a column by Ann Coulter, the "right wing" editorialist. Well, anybody that knows anything about Ann Coulter knows that she is not gentle in her commentary. Anybody should have anticipated some rather pointed remarks. USA Today certainly knew what it was getting into when it asked her to write a column on the Democratic Convention. As Coulter herself said, "Apparently no one at USA TODAY had ever read Ann Coulter before." Well, this was obviously yet another case of left wing media censorship.

I, for one, wasn't about to let USA Today stop me from reading Ms. Coulter's column. I found it on the web and read it from beginning to end. And you know what? USA Today was 100% right in spiking that garbage. It was not political commentary. It was not even a good partisan screed. It was pure, putrid vitriol. It was nasty from the start, hateful throughout and very, very poorly written. I'm reluctantly including a link, despite the fact that I don't want this site associated with that low-grade filth. Seriously, it read like the ravings of an angry thirteen year old girl, not the work of anybody who could even begin to call herself a serious political journalist. If this is what Ann Coulter believes passes for political commentary, then she should join the left-wing nutjobs that she is attacking. They communicate on exactly the same level.

Thank you USA Today. Seriously, thank you. Those of us who are Bush supporters or otherwise considered to be on the "right wing" of American politics owe you a debt of gratitude for doing your part in ensuring that the sane among us are not associated with Coulter's juvenile ramblings. Now, do us a big, big favor and don't spike the Michael Moore column that you have asked Moore to write on the Republican Convention. Pretty Please?

Posted by: Jheka at July 27, 2004 10:23 | link | comments (9) |
rightist idiocy, schmucks

Bipartisan Hilarity

Can be found over at the always entertaining She said hopefully. It's a video piece, so it may not be work safe but you have to check it out. It's that funny.

Update: If you liked the clip over at She Said Hopefully, you might enjoy this oldie-but-goodie.

Second update: Another old favorite.

Posted by: Jheka at July 23, 2004 15:39 | link | comments (1) |

Man Exercises Pro-Bush Free Speech - Is Threatened By Pro-Kerry Government Officials

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boston pizzaria owner Mark Pasquale has put up the pro-Bush sign you see pictured at his restaurant, which is across the street from Boston's Fleet Center (where the Democratic convention will be held). The response to this perfectly legal exercise of free speech? Boston city inspectors have threatened to fine the small business owner unless he takes down the sign. Question: Would the fine, upstanding public servants who are trying to bully Mr. Pasquale have issued the threat if it had been a Pro-Kerry sign? I think we all know the answer.

Posted by: Jheka at July 23, 2004 09:19 | link | comments (3) |
leftist idiocy

Friday Poetry - Wild Oats

Another favorite by the wonderfully pathetic (or is it pathetically wonderful?) Philip Larkin:

Wild Oats

About twenty years ago
Two girls came in where I worked -
A bosomy English rose
And her friend in specs I could talk to.
Faces in those days sparked
The whole shooting-match off, and I doubt
If ever one had like hers:
But it was the friend I took out,

And in seven years after that
Wrote over four hundred letters,
Gave a ten-guinea ring
I got back in the end, and met
At numerous cathedral cities
Unknown to the clergy. I believe
I met beautiful twice. She was trying
Both times (so I thought) not to laugh.

Parting, after about five
Rehearsals, was an agreement
That I was too selfish, withdrawn
And easily bored to love.
Well, useful to get that learnt,
In my wallet are still two snaps,
Of bosomy rose with fur gloves on.
Unlucky charms, perhaps.

Philip Larkin

Posted by: Jheka at July 23, 2004 08:41 | link | comments (1) |
poetry

Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince

I gotta tell you, I can't wait.

Posted by: Jheka at July 22, 2004 21:44 | link | comments (2) |

DU Question: Do You Believe That Osama Was Behind 9-11?

DU answer: Of course not!!

A sampling of some entertaining responses:

28erl (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-22-04 03:48 PM
Response to Original message

Edited on Thu Jul-22-04 03:49 PM by 28erl

no ....actually bushCo did it

they made bin laden the fall guy....this is why they flew his family out of the country....his dad meet with saudi night before and bush after...
they are protecting those who helped them pull off the biggest crime in the world....

Solomon (1000+ posts)

9. Nope. And the tape was a fraud. That wasn't Bin Laden on that

tape. I don't believe any of it. Never did. Never will.

TrustingDog (772 posts)

24. Afghanistan was just as stinking a home invasion...

as Iraq.

GreenPartyVoter (1000+ posts)

13. I am too MIHOP to believe that (Jheka's Note: "MIHOP" is a Loony Left acronym meaning "Made It Happen On Purpose" (meaning Bush & Co.))

Sequoia (1000+ posts)

23. Not me.

Maybe Israel is behind it. (Jheka's note: 23rd post ... a tad slow for DU)

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what the Left has devolved into. This is the Democratic party of Al Gore and Howard Dean and Kucinich and Sharpton and McKinney and McDermott. This is no longer the fringe. This is the base. They are a walking, talking, screeching, hyperventilating advertisement for the re-election of President Bush. Let's give them plenty of exposure.

Update: In their usual fashion, the folks who run DU covered up the anti-Semitic comment quoted above by deleting it but allow the anti-semite who posted it to remain a member in good standing. These are people who will ban anyone suspected of being or having been a Republican but for whom being an anti-Semite or anti-American is only is only mildly objectionable because, after all, that's the new Democratic base. The upcoming election is a referendum on George W. Bush. No doubt about it. It must also be made a referendum on the new Left.

Posted by: Jheka at July 22, 2004 13:16 | link | comments (4) |
leftist idiocy, schmucks

European Union Appeals for More Dead Jews

In a proclamation which was about as surprising as David Duke announcing that he never had a Bar Mitzvah, The European Union called upon Israel to tear down the security barrier which is saving Israeli lives.  In doing so, EU foreign policy chief Javier Solana asserted that the barrier violated "international law."  I am endlessly fascinated by these constant references to "international law."  Can somebody please tell me what, specific, binding "international law" (and if a law isn't somehow binding, it's not really a law, now is it?) Israel is violating?  A specific code section would be nice.  I'd also like to know exactly when Israel agreed to make itself subject to all of these "international laws" that everyone seems so enamored with.  Oh, and a special question for France and the EU:  How's Sudan doing with those "international laws?"  How about Iran?  Or is there a provision that cancels such laws when you have major oil concerns with a country that slaughters, starves and oppresses its people?  Just curious.

Posted by: Jheka at July 22, 2004 12:42 | link | comments (1) |
schmucks, general idiocy

Worst of the Web

Ryan at Tasty Manatees is doing a "Worst of the Web" contest. For the love of all that is Holy, somebody nominate me!! :)

Update:  Am I the only one having trouble getting to the Tasty Manatees site?

Posted by: Jheka at July 22, 2004 10:50 | link | comments (4) |

The Fourth Estate Adores Arafat

I mean, really, what's not to like? The Guardian would like you to know that Arafat was not to blame for the failure of the Camp David talks and that it was all the fault of those damned lying Zionists. The New York Times wants Arafat out but would like to give him a big, wet, sloppy kiss on his way out the door, calling the mass murdering godfather of terror a "romantic revolutionary" and calling upon this "democratically elected" "romantic revolutionary" to "retire" and most emphatically not calling for his forceful removal. I'm sure that right now Romantic Revolutionary Arafat is reading the NYT op-ed page and thinking "retire ... hmm ... why didn't I think of that?" On a more realistic note, do you suppose that NYT staffers have already received their Arafat t-shirts to replace the fading Che shirts that they so love, or do you think that they have to wait until the Christmas party to get them?

Posted by: Jheka at July 22, 2004 10:41 | link | comments |

Reposting a Poem from the Dear Brian Blog - The Most Perfect Day

Annonymous (and yes, I spelled that correctly), over at Dear Brian, is a member of the Axis of Poetry and Thursday is her day (I have Fridays, Urthshu has Mondays and The Grand Vizier covers Wednesdays).  If you've read Dear Brian, you know that Brian was a firefighter who was killed in the Towers on 9-11 and Annonymous is his sister.  Well, today's poem is not by Whitman or Longfellow or Rita Dove but was written by Brian's wife and I think it's important for a couple of reasons (in addition to being a fine poem) and is worth a reprint:

The Most Perfect Day

 

The kids have colds

We sleep too late

I kiss you goodbye

You’ve no time to wait

For breakfast, or small talk, or anything more

You smile at me as you walk out the door

 

This day was for work

And laundry piled high

And wiping wet noses

And a baby’s loud cry

No time for relaxing or resting today

How I wish Calgon would take me away

 

The day goes too slow

It’s now afternoon

I look at the clock

Are you coming home soon?

The work never ends, the bills are unpaid

Just look at this house, and the mess the kids made

 

I wish I could go

Off to work like you do

You’ve got it so easy

And you haven’t a clue

What it’s like to be stuck in this house all day long

With three sick kids and a loud Barney song

 

The kids are in bed

Toys litter the floor

I’m asleep on the couch

When you walk through the door

There’s not much to say, as tired as we are

We speak of the kids, and repairs on the car

 

We head up the stairs

And collapse into bed

If I only had known

If I only had said…

The most perfect day I can remember

Was this, the tenth day of September

Posted by: Jheka at July 22, 2004 08:58 | link | comments (2) |
poetry

On the Poetry and Stalinism of Pablo Neruda

According to this fascinating article by Stephen Schwartz, the much lauded Pablo Neruda is vastly overrated both as a poet and as a human being. Two points. First, if Schwartz is right (and it would appear that he is, on both counts), then it is clear that the Nobel Committee, which awarded Neruda the prize for literature in 1971, was devaluing the prize by giving it to scoundrels and the undeserving long before Arafat and Carter got their hands on one of those glorified paperweights. Second, I remember seeing Il Postino (which was based, in part, on Neruda's life)and I remember that I didn't particularly care for it, in part because I just couldn't sympathize with the pro-communist sub-text (and in part because the story moved at the pace of frozen molasses). Looking back, I feel pretty good about my original assessment. Whatever talent Neruda may or may not have had, he was, at least in part, a cheap Stalinist hack. All the proof one needs can be found in a poem he wrote upon the occasion of Stalin's death:

To be men! That is the Stalinist law! . . .
We must learn from Stalin
his sincere intensity
his concrete clarity. . . .
Stalin is the noon,
the maturity of man and the peoples.
Stalinists, Let us bear this title with pride. . . .
Stalinist workers, clerks, women take care of this day!
The light has not vanished.
The fire has not disappeared,
There is only the growth of
Light, bread, fire and hope
In Stalin's invincible time! . . .
In recent years the dove,
Peace, the wandering persecuted rose,
Found herself on his shoulders
And Stalin, the giant,
Carried her at the heights of his forehead. . . .
A wave beats against the stones of the shore.
But Malenkov will continue his work.

Yuck.

Posted by: Jheka at July 22, 2004 02:41 | link | comments (1) |
poetry

Islamists Threaten to Behead More Hostages

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - Militants took six foreign truck drivers hostage and threatened Wednesday to behead them unless their company ends its business in Iraq, and their countries - India, Egypt and Kenya - pull all their citizens out.

In other news, Al Quaeda would like to send a big sloppy kiss to President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo of the Philippines.  The Philippines got some $340,000,000 in aid from the U.S. last year and has asked for more.  Maybe this year the Islamists can provide the aid.  I'm sure that Egypt, Kenya and India also apreciate President Arroyo's decision (well, actually, Egypt might).

Posted by: Jheka at July 21, 2004 19:06 | link | comments |

Update on Bogie Diaries

I hope that you enjoyed the latest Bogie Diary. As you can see from the picture, it left poor little Bogie exhausted. Obviously, the list of things that every man should own can go on and on and the items below do not even begin to constitute an exhaustive list. Therefore, we're going to make this aspect of the Bogie Diaries a regular feature. Every Wednesday, Bogie is going to discuss one item that every man should own. Ten, or even five, at once is just too unwieldy but one should be just fine. If you have thoughts on the items discussed or would like to suggest other things that every man should have (or have ideas for other weekly features), please let Bogie know by posting a comment.

Posted by: Jheka at July 21, 2004 17:54 | link | comments (3) |
bogie diaries

Bogie Diary - Ten Things Every Man Should Own

Women have their list of necessities - the little black dress, the evening purse (as opposed to the daytime suitcase ... um, "purse"), the fourteen thousand pairs of shoes (or is that just Jheka's Girl?). You might think that men have it easier, without the myriad "must haves" lining our closets, drawers and bathroom cabinets. And its true, we do have it easier. Our list is much, much shorter and our few rules are far less arcane. Nevertheless, there is a list and there are rules. Today, I'll very briefly cover ten oft overlooked items that every gentleman (and most especially a single gentleman) should have in his home, unless he is satisfied to spend his weekends and evenings with his X-Box or looking for on-line romance with a guy that calls himself Jill from Pawtucket.

1. A good sports coat. The fact is that, in today's world, wearing a suit to a social occasion is often overdressing and may make people think that you are coming straight from work, which is not the image that you want to project. A sports coat is great for its versatility. You can wear it with nearly anything and to all but the most formal or most casual occasions. A sports coat and a good pair of jeans (and dress boots or dress shoes, NOT sneakers) will make you fit in at Morton's or the local pub or museum or theatre performance with complete comfort.

Word to the wise: Unless you're trying to tell the world that you're a college professor, avoid the elbow patches (and if you are trying to pick up undergrads on campus, go all the way and get the pipe).

2. A tuxedo. On the other end of the spectrum is the piece of clothing that many of us will very rarely wear but, believe me, should own anyway. Now, you may say, "hey, Bogie, I'm lucky if I wear a tuxedo once a year, if that," and you'd have a point. But what do you do on that one occasion when you do need to dress to the nines? That's right, you're off to the tuxedo rental shop. Now, I could tell you that for the price of three tuxedo rentals you could buy yourself a really nice tux of your own that will actually fit you correctly. I can tell you that if you're unlucky enough to need a tux in May or June and the prom crowd has already swarmed the stores, you'll be lucky to get a fuchia polka-dot number that almost fits you. I could tell you this and half a dozen other reasons to get a tux of your own but they all pale in comparison to reason number one. Do you remember your prom? Now, forget what you did and think back to your classmates, who were also wearing rented tuxes. Think about the guys who had a bit too much to drink, eat or otherwise made poor choices on that fateful night. They don't remember it, but if you're lucky, you probably do. Think about how their evenings wound up. Now, ask yourself this question: "Do I want to wear one article of clothing ever worn by those guys?" Teenagers haven't changed since your prom night. Isn't it about time you stopped sharing clothes with them?

Word to the wise: If the last time you wore a tux it was bright red or baby-blue tuxedo with a ruffled shirt, I hope that you've since grown up. Basic black has never gone out of style and most of the funky tuxes that you vaguely remember from your salad days were never in style, except for a brief, tragic period in the seventies which should properly be wiped from the history books and collective consciousness. If you want to add color, have fun with your cumberbunds and ties or, even better, get a good tuxedo vest (which I prefer to cumberbunds, which serve no earthly purpose except to catch crumbs).

3. Brass collar stays. You probably have plenty of good dress shirts but unless you enjoy going around looking like a refugee from a remake of The Flying Nun, you better have some decent collar stays. I am constantly astonished by how many men are unaware of this simple but essential clothing accessory. Now you can buy plastic collar stays in a pinch but that's foolish for two reasons. First, plastic collar stays tend to bend and break easily and need to be constantly replaced. Second, if you really need collar stays, many good men's stores will happily give you the same plastic collar stays that others will sell to you. In my experience, both The Men's Wearhouse and Nordstrom's will happily give you some collar stays if you ask for them.

Word to the wise: The other day, when Jheka was out I was surfing the net and came across an ad for sterling silver collar stays for some ridiculous sum of money. Now, that's just insane. Collar stays are perhaps the one clothing accessory which no one is ever meant to see (except maybe your dry cleaner if you carelessly forget to remove them, and then the more valuable they are, the more likely it is that they'll get "lost"). Why on earth would anyone spend money on sterling silver collar stays? Unless your name is Liberace (you can buy his for just $950), stick with brass.

4. Two big, fluffy robes. Part of being a gentleman is being a good host and nothing says good host like having a warm, comfortable robe for your overnight guests. I don't care if it's your aunt Myrtle who decided to drop in on you, an old college buddy or that cute bridesmaid that you met at the wedding reception, nothing will make your guest feel welcome like getting a nice, warm robe first thing in the morning (if you happen to wake up first, throw it in the dryer for about a minute before your guest gets up or while they're in the shower ... you should also probably start breakfast, if you want to make a really good impression). You should also have one for yourself, as it will make your guest feel more relaxed in theirs. If you're the gambling type, you may find that many casino-hotels will give you their robes the same way they comp your room, meals, etc. (though, of course, they could ultimately wind up being VERY expensive robes ... for God's sake, don't gamble just to get a robe or for any other comp ... that's how people wind up staying at $12,000 "free" rooms and eating $3,000 "free" steaks).

Word to the wise: On the subject of being a good host, always try to have a few new toothbrushes (in the store packaging) for unexpected overnight guests.

5. A tool set. If you're living in a house with a garage or a den you may have room for a full workshop with everything from a table saw to a soldering kit to, well, anything. However, even if you live in a 350 square foot studio, you should have the basics. That means flathead and Phillips screwdrivers, a claw hammer, a power drill and drill bit set, a wrench, pliers (needlenose and cutting), a level, a tape measure, an assortment of screws and some nails. These are the very bare minimum basics and you need to have them because, at the end of the day, the Boy Scouts have a point ... you need to be prepared.

6. An original painting. Prints are great and they were perfect for your college dorm (where, admit it, liquids would occasionally fly through the air for reasons that we need not discuss here). There's nothing at all wrong with having prints or family photos or other decoration adorning your walls now. However, now that your not living with your folks or at the Kappa house, isn't it about time you owned and displayed something completely unique? I'm not saying that you should take out a second and third mortgage so that you can put down a down payment on a Kandinsky or even that you should blow three months' salary for something from a Carmel gallery. The name on the painting isn't nearly as important as the fact that you like it and that you find in it some reflection of your own spirit which you are happy to display in your home. There are many, many terrific, classically trained artists throughout the world who are selling their work for ridiculously low prices. The only difference between them and many of the artists who have their work hanging in galleries is that the latter were "discovered" by someone who could market their work. Look for art when you travel and you'll come home with something better than a souvenir glass from Señor Frog.

7. A copy of one or more of the following movies: History of the World: Part I, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Blazing Saddles, Caddyshack, Airplane. There are, of course, others that can be added to this list. The point? These are all movies that nearly everybody is familiar with. If a bunch of people come over, you can pop one of these into the VCR or DVD player and people who walk in 15 minutes or an hour later will still be entertained. You can do things (like cook, serve drinks, have a conversation, etc.) without feeling like you're going to miss the plot because 1. You know it already and 2. In the case of History of the World, Part I, Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Airplane, the plot is beside the point. In short, have some movies that everybody will enjoy and get a good laugh out of that you can play over and over and over because, let's face it, as great as it is, you're never going to get 5 or more people at the same time who are all psyched to see Schindler's List again.

Word to the Wise: Jheka thinks it's important to have one or two really good date movies. He really likes Cinema Paradiso and thinks that if you haven't seen it, you should ... preferably with someone you like. When he brought up the subject of date movies to Jheka's Girl, she kicked him in the shins. He's still confused.

8. At least one good, general-purpose cookbook. Experience shows that, given the choice between a fancy restaurant and a good home cooked meal, most women will be far, far more impressed with the home cooked meal. If you're two or more dates into your relationship, you may want to impress her (and save yourself another $100+ check). The key, of course, is to not screw up the meal. Thus, if you're not already a good cook, you may want to invest in a really good cookbook. Buy one that has everything from appetizers to dessert so that your kitchen doesn't wind up looking like you're studying for final exams.

Word to the wise: If you're going to take the bold step of cooking for someone that you've recently met, make sure that you have a firm handle on what she likes, what she's allergic to, etc. Nothing will put an end to a romantic dinner faster than serving a vegetarian your best veal piccata or using an ingredient that will make your date break out in massive hives.

9. A good, reliable camera. Life is made up of moments and if you're lucky, you'll have a chance to capture some of them. Dispose of the disposable and get something that you'll enjoy using.

Word to the wise: Digital cameras are all the rage and are really nice but until they have batteries that last longer than a short period of active use, they won't replace conventional cameras. This point was driven home to Jheka during a recent Father's Day fishing trip during which his boat was absolutely surrounded by whales at no more than 15 meters and the expensive digital camera that his dad had brought was nothing more than a glorified paperweight for want of some double-As.

10. A world atlas and a current passport. Because you never know when the opportunity ... or the need ... to travel somewhere very foreign might suddenly arise.

Word to the wise: If you travel, learn to say, "thank you" in the native tongue. Once you get that down, the rest is details.

Posted by: Jheka at July 21, 2004 15:39 | link | comments (3) |
bogie diaries

Friday Poetry - Early Saturday Afternoon, Early Evening

First, sorry about the blogus interruptus - I've been very busy and exhausted to boot. There's another Bogie Diary in the works plus some more political commentary, an Iron Blog recap, photographs and other fun stuff, so stay tuned. I'm also considering a blog project that may require the purchase of some new hardware.

Anyway, on to today's poetry. Here's a piece from Charles Wright, who teaches advanced poetry writing at the University of Virginia and once generously allowed me to take his class in spite of my complete lack of qualifications (there were only 10 spaces available). There's a story there, about how I convinced him ... maybe I'll tell it later. Anyway, Charles Wright is, as you will soon discover, a real Southerner, and often wrote of the South. Anybody who has ever spent any real time in the American South (and I don't mean Atlanta or Miami or Richmond or any other big city) knows that it has a rhythm, a unique poetry of its own. Writers and poets, like Pete Dexter and Toni Morrison and Charles Wright and many, many others, have been trying to tie the Southern rhythm to a page with ink ropes for generations. Wright does a nice job of it, both in writing and in his reading of his work (audio clip - may not be work appropriate).

Posted by: Jheka at July 16, 2004 12:50 | link | comments |
poetry

Open Letter From The Bush Campaign to the Kerry Campaign

Posted by: Jheka at July 14, 2004 10:48 | link | comments (5) |

Mr. Sensitivity

Kerry would never, ever, take advantage of the grief of others for political gain. Of course not.

Sen. John F. Kerry upset some families of 9/11 victims yesterday when he arrived - late - to a private memorial dedication in a sirened motorcade and glad-handed as though he were on the campaign trail.
The senator, in Boston for the day, hopped in his motorcade at the Four Seasons, drove around the Boston Public Garden and arrived at the memorial with his sizable entourage in tow.
Press were kept away but several family members, speaking privately, said they were miffed that Kerry arrived after most other pols - such as Sen. Edward M. Kennedy , Rep. Martin T. Meehan, and Attorney General Tom Reilly - had all left.
And Kerry stayed much longer than the other leaders, shaking hands, posing for photos before he left with just as much commotion.
``I bet he couldn't even name anybody on that wall,'' said the wife of one 9/11 victim, who spoke on the condition her name not be used.
Others said they were disturbed that the Kerry campaign allowed television crews to film over the Public Garden fence - capturing video of Kerry with grieving family members in the midst of his presidential campaign.
. . .

Posted by: Jheka at July 13, 2004 13:12 | link | comments (6) |

Pretty Girl, Huh?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I sure thought so before I realized why Colt of Eurabian Times posted her picture (he likes to post the occasional picture of pretty girls).  Maayan Naim, 19 isn't a pretty girl.  She was a pretty girl this past Saturday.  Now, she's a corpse in the ground because Arafat's dogs murdered her.  Kofi Anan and the U.N. would love to see more of the same.

Build it, Mr. Sharon.  Build it Israel.  For God's sake, build it faster.

Posted by: Jheka at July 13, 2004 12:32 | link | comments (2) |

An Obvious Alliance

Cox & Forkum get it very, very right:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So did Alan Dershowitz, for that matter ... the day before the ruling came down.

Posted by: Jheka at July 13, 2004 02:28 | link | comments |